Its interesting dealing with Japanese men; though I can't say I have strictly had any relationship with any. I've shared an apartment with one, talked to heaps, but with the exception of a few old men I've met with overseas experience, I can't say I'd want to be friends with them. One Aussie girl I used to work with had a pretty cool Japanese BF. My brother recently married a Japanese girl in Japan, and I was surprised that all her brother's friends were really cool! Having been married to a Japanese girl myself at some point, this was not the first wedding I went to without some form of prejudice. Usually its older arrogant men from the countryside. But if I was to sum up the attitudes I have crossed, its the following:
1. Cultural put down: Many Japanese guys like to put down my country because we are a small population. It does like this... 'Really..you are from Australia? Oh. Kangaroo, koala..he he. Really amusing when it happens several times in the same bar.
2. Nice guy put down: This is when strangers want to do nice things for you. e.g. A Japanese person is at a vending machine before you. He decides to give you a free drink. Maybe you are thinking..nice guy. Nope, arrogant dick. He did it because generosity is a sign of superiority in Japan. Older men treat younger men & women to drinks because they are arrogantly superior. The young Japanese employees or girls just like to get free drinks and take off, unless they feel compelled to be polite. One Japanese guy told me he had to pour his bosses drinks all night, at every session of weekly Friday drinks, but he was pleased to get free drinks none the less.
3. Runnaway Dave: These are the ones that wait until they pass you before they have their snickering joke with their disabled mates.
4. Throw Up Tom: These are the guys who carry on all the time and get excessively drunk, or pretend to, and then drop up anyway just to prove they are men. When he gets older, he is likely to require a loan from his parents to pay for the damage he did to your apartment because he drank & drove, drank more and fell asleep smoking a cigarette. Oh, and you had to drive him to the hospital to sew his burnt hand back on.
5. Silent Sam: This is the type of Japanese guy who is very quiet and just wants to take-take-take. Mummer's boy to be sure. Very insular, so very hard to relate or get humour from these guys. They are generally honest though.
6. Sly Stud: Stud is the guy who charms the lady and has a lot of confidence. He is usually successful in business and plays around with married women.
7. Working Jay: Jay is a son of the company president. He feels a great sense of obligation, so he feels obliged to work as hard as his father. He eats and drinks at the bars, often by himself. He has dates organised by his mother because she is concerned he doesn't eat well, and he needs to settle down. He probably has the most tragic sense of life.
8. Prancing Pete: Pet also has wealthy parents, but Pete can't stand to be around his parents because they are so pushy about him being a real man and facing up to his responsibilities. Instead he works a part time job selling cell phones in the city, or goes abroad and works in a Japanese call centre. He is gay or close enough, which is just another element of his 'tough dad's disappointment.
9. Korean Ken: Those tough minded men which remind you of tough-minded Korean men, through whom ideas will just not permeate. Ken is this type of man that Pete wants to escape. He is often a farmer, construction worker, lumberjack or real estate agent.
Ok, so let me identify the positive experiences with Japanese men:
1. Teddybear Ben: There are those old Japanese men who are soft, gentle and friendly. Nice people, often educated, often engineers.
2. Countryfolk: I have had some very positive experiences with Japanese country people. A lot of them have not had much interaction with foreigners, so they won't speak much English, but you can have a lot of fun over a few beers.
3. Suicide Joe: This is the guy who tells you his life story, how unhappy he is, how lucky you are, and just appreciates that you spent 30 minutes talking to him.
4. Downsyndromes: These ones tend to be confined to the outskirts of the cities, I guess where its cheaper and less possibility of a drive-by. All types of weird people on trains in Japan. Never had an experience like it. They are included in the census so we include them here. Not among my friends but good to observe.
5. Tecky Ted: Ted is the guy who wishes he was an American, or might be properly be identified as one. These are the types who are the most interesting to talk to because they don't possess the collectivist identity that maligns other Japanese men. They account for the creative, conceptual genius behind Japan, and highlight the point that if you have a population of 95 milliob people, you are bound to get a few hundred thousand ones like Ted. Great for a chat, and the only typecast I can respect.
6. Bureaucrat Bob: Bob is a very rigid fellow, very shy, no chance in hell of getting a girlfriend. He wants to be a computer programmer but spends only 1 hour a day studying compared to 8 hours for a housewife. He speaks like an android and wears all his buttons up, and he runs to the station at 5am so he's not late for work. And he liked Japanese history and literature. He just loves Japan because there are rules that he can count on. He'll never leave the country unless its to find a wife in the Philippines.
Well I wish I was joking, but this is the summary of the types of men I have met in Japan. Am I missing anyone?
